I decided that today was a good day to just sit down and actually read through the entire newspaper. It’s not something that I do often, but after reading all of the news that I could handle for one day, I came across an advice column. In it, there was a letter from an anonymous person that stated that she had met her soul mate. After going through a divorce and finally being single to date, her soul mate married someone else. She couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondered if she should choose between marrying someone that she didn’t really want to be with, or staying single for the rest of her life. The advice columnist answered by saying that he may have been your soul mate, but you weren’t his soul mate. There is still time to find someone else that will fulfill you.
I came to think about what it really meant to have a soul mate. I’m not one that believes that there is just one single person out there, but many if we allow ourselves. There are people with that we will feel a connection, but to hold ourselves to just one person can cause a great deal of unnecessary heartbreak. It instills this thinking that there is this one perfect person out there for each of us. We have accepted the world’s idea of finding true love to mean that there is a match made in heaven. The thinking that we find in the book, “and they lived happily ever after,” is the fairy tale ending that many single people are looking for in life. It’s a cultural norm that insists that a single person should search to find their one perfect match, a soul mate.
In the Bible, for example, we don’t see this idea that God has one special someone for you and that you need to search to find this person. In the Garden of Eden, God creates Adam a suitable companion for him and that man shouldn’t be alone. Godly companionship is more of what is being conveyed. However, the issue is that society’s idea of a soul mate is that it looks to accomplish the same goal of companionship apart from the knowledge of God. Even so, the Bible is not completely quiet or silent on soul mates. In verses such as 1 Samuel 18:1, “And it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” It is clear in this scripture that the biblical view of a soul mate is described as a close friendship. Just like the friend who is able to finish all of your sentences. Jonathan and David, they shared a strong bond of friendship, willing to risk their lives for each other. The Bible describes this as a soulmate. The capacity to connect deeply on the soul level can be found in Deuteronomy 13:6, “..thy friend, which is as thine own soul,” as husbands and wives are connected entirely, including at the soul level. Lastly, Song of Solomon 3:5, “I have found the one whom my soul loves.” The most romantic Bible verse shares that there are some people we are attracted to, or our soul loves, more than others. However, attraction can’t substitute God’s wisdom for us. Let’s think about this since it is about the love story of the young King Solomon and the Shulamite. We all know that King Solomon had many wives by the end of his life. So attraction at the soul level wouldn’t be an indicator of lasting, true love.
Soul mates are mentioned in the Bible, but it’s not the same idea that the world has in finding or creating that one person. Rather than looking for a soulmate, look to God’s wisdom for what He has for you. True love is sacrificial love, not self-serving. Instead of looking for that one perfect match, be the perfect match, remembering that love is patient and kind. It isn’t envious or boastful or proud, but instead protects, trusts, hopes, and endures in every situation. So as the advice columnist had stated that there are choices for the heartbroken woman, don’t get caught up in the hype of what you think is meant to be, but rather, submit your love life to Him, and you will find your soul mate.