Society has a way of telling people that being single isn’t a good thing, but in reality, it’s healthy to be single. Movies, television, and books are constant reminders that we have to find our soul mate. That there is this rush to find that one person to complete us, and that single people are unhappy because they don’t have a significant other. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, single people self-reported levels of well-being that were similar to participants in relationships.
Society has a funny way of making its demands known to people, that at times, it seems challenging to make decisions on our own. One demand, in particular, is that we need to be married. It isn’t often that I meet people who say that they wish to find a good job, buy a home, and stay single. It always seems to be the opposite. They want to find a good job and buy a home and get married. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be in a relationship or to get married?
This weekend, I was looking around my Instagram account and a picture of someone familiar to me came up in my news feed. I felt my heart sink when I looked closer at the picture. Pictures can tell us a lot about people and their relationships.
I often wondered what made us become attracted to some people and not to others. Is it something within our DNA, or is it that stars align themselves in such a way, that we can’t deny our feelings? These are the questions that I asked myself, and yet, hadn’t been able to find the answers, that is, until now.
There isn’t one person who is immune to the emotions that are found with jealousy and envy. At some point in life, we have all experienced it. Either it is at work, within friendships, or something else; jealous and envy are very real feelings that have a way of effecting your life. Fortunately, there is a way to not let these emotions overpower your life. There are ways of getting through it, but it’s also important to understand the difference between being jealous and being envious.
I rarely find myself disappointed by others. Perhaps it’s because I try to think of the worst situation, but hope for the best. It was something that I was taught years ago, but every so often someone will bring about those feelings that I feel frozen, and my heart breaks into what feels like a million pieces. I call this feeling a disappointed heart. Disappointment puts us in a place where we are standing still and we aren’t always sure what to do.
Love isn’t as easy as it was even ten or fifteen years ago. I often think about how technology is making it harder to find someone to love, but I also think about how easy it is to fall for people by what they include online. We can follow someone’s pictures and posts and think to ourselves “this person is exactly what I’m looking for, they’re cute, funny, and would make the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend.” The hard part of it all is that it’s not always completely accurate.
In less than 8.2 seconds to fall in love at first sight with a person. I don’t know how, but our heart tells us differently. You can see someone crossing the street, on television, or even through social media and know within a short period of time that there are feelings.
An all-time favorite movie about a screenwriter who falls in love with a famous bachelor, it’s one of the few movies that I can’t resist watching. There is an excitement and hope that even through the ups and downs of their relationship, in the end, I hope that they will be together. That’s what love is about. Getting through the ups and downs of life and through it all, we remain together. At least this is what I’ve told myself so many times, but the truth feels that we have forgotten about real love and replaced it with the fantasy of being in love. Are we just pushing love away, or is that we have fallen out of the idea of being in love?
One of the hardest things that I found is not being able to have control over everything in life. It’s not the circumstances that get to me, but people and their actions that tends to be the hardest. There is that fear that by losing control, than something bad could happen. A bad review, an argument, or not getting the relationships that you want in life.