Who knew that even as an adult, we would still have to deal with being a part of the in-crowd. I never liked the specific groups that were formed as a young person in high school. I didn’t understand why we all couldn’t be accepted for who we were as individuals. The popular, jocks, the fine arts, the brains, the burnouts, the goths, and the loners were just some of the groups that we felt like we had to try and fit into growing up.
Society has a way of telling people that being single isn’t a good thing, but in reality, it’s healthy to be single. Movies, television, and books are constant reminders that we have to find our soul mate. That there is this rush to find that one person to complete us, and that single people are unhappy because they don’t have a significant other. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, single people self-reported levels of well-being that were similar to participants in relationships.
Society has a funny way of making its demands known to people, that at times, it seems challenging to make decisions on our own. One demand, in particular, is that we need to be married. It isn’t often that I meet people who say that they wish to find a good job, buy a home, and stay single. It always seems to be the opposite. They want to find a good job and buy a home and get married. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be in a relationship or to get married?
Over the past year, we’ve experienced so much pain and loss. Some were due to the current virus, and others have passed for various reasons. No matter what the reason was for it happening, it still hurts us. Losing someone is never easy and it can leave such emptiness within us. I think sometimes that pain comes from not only the loss but realizing that while here on this earth, it will take before we see them again.
This weekend, I was looking around my Instagram account and a picture of someone familiar to me came up in my news feed. I felt my heart sink when I looked closer at the picture. Pictures can tell us a lot about people and their relationships.
I rarely find myself disappointed by others. Perhaps it’s because I try to think of the worst situation, but hope for the best. It was something that I was taught years ago, but every so often someone will bring about those feelings that I feel frozen, and my heart breaks into what feels like a million pieces. I call this feeling a disappointed heart. Disappointment puts us in a place where we are standing still and we aren’t always sure what to do.
Love isn’t as easy as it was even ten or fifteen years ago. I often think about how technology is making it harder to find someone to love, but I also think about how easy it is to fall for people by what they include online. We can follow someone’s pictures and posts and think to ourselves “this person is exactly what I’m looking for, they’re cute, funny, and would make the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend.” The hard part of it all is that it’s not always completely accurate.
Have you ever met someone, either on social media or in person, and immediately realize that this was the person that has influenced you in some way, you just want to get to know them better. Maybe not in the way that many people would categorize “getting to know someone.” It could be a friendship, or perhaps for some it could be something more, but whatever that feeling takes you, it’s really about the idea of meeting someone that brings you to wanting to be a better person than you are today.
Loss comes at different seasons of our lives and for different reasons. It triggers an emotion within ourselves as a result of some life circumstance. There are many who believe that mourning is best when we find closure, but the idea of getting over it and the extent of the emotions triggered is a myth. I’m not sure if we really ever get over the loss of someone, as much as we learn to cope.
From elementary school through college, making lasting friendships was much easier than when we get older. We find that people become less willing to make new connections with one another. That’s difficult to accept, especially if you view your friends to be a lot like an extended family. Not everyone marries and has children, either it is by choice or because they just didn’t find a person that was right for them. Whatever the reason, friendship is an important part of life.