I rarely find myself disappointed by others. Perhaps it’s because I try to think of the worst situation, but hope for the best. It was something that I was taught years ago, but every so often someone will bring about those feelings that I feel frozen, and my heart breaks into what feels like a million pieces. I call this feeling a disappointed heart. Disappointment puts us in a place where we are standing still and we aren’t always sure what to do. We feel anger, anxiety, and sadness altogether. We begin to ask ourselves questions about how we become disappointed, to begin with. Truth is, it’s not difficult to fall into a place where we begin to point the finger of judgment with the person, but instead, treating people with respect and with thinking as to how you would want to be treated is one way of getting through the disappointment.
There is nothing wrong with taking a step back and really think about the situation before reacting. Think if you did do anything to cause this person to disappoint you. We all have a role in our relationships. Ask as many questions as you can think of, this is the only way to logically work out what had happened. It also allows us to think about if we have put an expectation on the person. Often times, disappointment happens because we may have put too high of an expectation on them, which causes us to become disappointed.
Other things to consider is being able to imagine what the other person will feel like, or how they would react to your reactions. I find that I don’t just react. I do think about it. Once I’ve looked at the situation from all points of view, from all angles, then I am able to understand how I became disappointed, to begin with, but also getting the perspective of others helps because the other person can look at the situation objectively. Having someone else’s perspective means that we need to keep an open mind and to take the parts that feel true to you.
There are many ways to react to a person who has disappointed us. For instance letting the person know that they have hurt us, writing a letter of separation with a note of thanks for all the good times. There are many ways to approach it. However, I’ve found that living with the highest truth is often what is meant to be since it means living by example. It’s unfortunate that we can’t be all things to all people at all times. However, we can stand up for ourselves and what we believe in. We can admit our faults, especially since we are all human. No one is perfect, but we do have the ability to move through our feelings. It’s the ones that we love that seem to have the ability to disappoint us most, but it doesn’t have to be an end all be all. We can improve the meaning you give to it a little better, see yourself in the other person’s perspective and honor the person’s perspective and ask for the change that you want, but also to get understand what you feel. Sometimes it’s a matter of saying, “I’m disappointed by the problem, but I love you.” As long as love is more important than the disappointment, you can work out just about any problem that exists.