Finding Content

Someone gave me a CD to listen to on being content in life. I listened to the half hour-long recording on being content with life that you have and how often we can look at other people’s lives. We wish to have what others do so to find happiness, content in ourselves. I thought about what being content really meant today. It was somewhat difficult to recognize things within myself, but the recording made some eye-opening statements that are true. Every day, I hear people talk about what isn’t right in their lives, this especially true in relationships. If I had a dime for every time someone who was single wished they were married I’d be a millionaire. It’s not to say that being married isn’t a great thing, but I think that with everything there is a trade-off. What I mean by that is there compromises, the good, and the bad with every relationship status. A person who is single wishes to be married. If married they wish to be single. Or they wish to be married to someone else. No matter what relationship status you carry, we don’t seem to be content with what we have in life.

Sure, you may be reading this and saying to yourself: “that’s not me. I’m perfectly happy with my life” and if that’s true I give you a lot of credit. It’s a good feeling to be where you wish to be, but I can’t say that I’m that lucky. I realized about twenty minutes into the recording that a past friend of mine Erin was anything but content with her life. I’ve learned that for the past two years she has been living in fear. You see about four years ago, she had a terrible situation happen to me that scarred me from being able to take chances. Sometimes people can be really mean and make it difficult for others because it makes them feel better about themselves. Part of that scarring comes from working in the world of politics. Personal lives, including relationships, can be magnified and even using your voice to express your feelings can be taken out of context. Erin lives with that embarrassment and pain every day. It’s the reason why she doesn’t take chances anymore and because of it she’s watching a potential love interest have a relationship with someone else. It’s not to say that this person wouldn’t still be with the same girl, but she’ll never know if I would have a chance because of fear. She doesn’t want history to repeat itself. So every day she holds onto my feelings because she doesn’t want to be a political cocktail joke. Trust me when I say, I know it hurts her. In the past I’ve never been one to hold back feelings. Erin use to believe that never know if you’ll have tomorrow, so she would look at it as if you had something to say then say it, because you may not have another chance to do so.

It has taken two years of regret to accept that Erin has been hiding her feelings. She has found every reason for why the person she has feelings for wouldn’t like her. It’s a way to not take a risk and get hurt. If she continues to tell herself all the things that are wrong with her, then she doesn’t have to answer to her feelings. At the same time, if she never tells this person her feelings she may never really know, and who knows, maybe good things could happen for them.

No matter what our story may be we can find happiness and fulfillment without regrets by being content. When Erin first met her guy of interest she was so nervous that she couldn’t even get the words out right without sounding like a snob. Till this day, she regrets not acting like herself and for not speaking her feelings. My only hope is that one day soon, she’ll take a chance and be content in telling him her feelings. I think we all need to find content and to be content. It will take a lot of courage to be honest with ourselves, to not be afraid and to take those chances.

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