Sometimes I think about my own life and realize as I’m getting older in age the idea of being alone can be difficult. Let’s face it. We come into this world young and for many, we leave much older in our lives. Many questions come up. Questions as to who will care for us as we grow older; along with living by ourselves. I think it becomes a little easier to live by yourself when you’re young and healthy, but as we age, the idea of being able to do everything becomes challenging. That brought me to thinking more about relationships.
A few weeks ago, I watched the movie The Holiday, a really good movie that shows how love can strike us at a moment’s notice. What struck me was the character Arthur Abbott. Arthur is found lost by Iris (played by Kate Winslow) who is standing lost at the corner. She escorts him home and soon learns that he is not only a screenwriter, but a widower. The two become fast friends. There were parts in this movie that brought me to see how the memories of Arthur’s past married life affect him, as he picks up his black and white wedding picture and looks at it before going to sleep. It seems that at points in this movie he is living just to get through the days until his time will come to return to seeing his wife.
It’s not easy to lose someone close to you; a husband, wife, or partner. I may never understand what that feels like. But I also think that it’s not just about being in a relationship that is important, rather, being in relationships with people that becomes fulfilling. We may never marry. That’s not a tragedy. What would be one is having never lived life to the fullest. Movies like Cinderella have put stars in our eyes at a young age as to what relationships are to be about and the idea that we need to be in one. However, in reality, many married people have found themselves as widows and widowers much earlier than what they had imagined in their lives. What I have found to be important is to not give up your own life. Marriage and relationships are to enhance the person, not take away interests or friendships.
We don’t need to feel fragile. We can continue to have our own interests, with or without a relationship. Like Arthur, we can find that life still exists at any age and still feel fulfilled.