I watch movies where two people break up and in the end, rekindle their relationships. I wish it were that easy. In reality, there is pain and hurt involved. Getting over someone isn’t all roses and lilies. Break-ups can turn a person’s world upside down. Think about in your life how many times that you have by a place or listened to a song and it reminded you about that broken up relationship. All or most of those feelings seem to come back.

Break-ups are about loss and the body needs time to heal. Uncertainty is part of the issue. Not knowing what will happen next. What I’ve learned is that it’s not about how long it takes for you to get over a relationship, but instead it’s important to understand that you can move on. There are ways to begin to feel better about you and part of it is the ability to allow yourself to have different feelings. Being angry, sad, frustrated, even confused is part of that healing process. Allowing the body time to mourn the loss, any loss, is a part of the process. No matter how strong the grief, it won’t last forever.

Fighting your feelings can also make it more difficult to start over. Yes you will go through ups and downs, we all do; but if you suppress your feelings and you don’t talk about them; then ultimately you’re not giving yourself a break. You’re not made out of steel. You’re human, and humans need to let out our feelings. A pint of ice cream or a call to a friend is just what the doctor ordered.

In order to move forward from that break-up, you need to understand you need to understand what happened and acknowledging the part you played. It’s important to understand how the choices you made affected the relationship. Also, being around people who energize you is just one other way to heal. Remember, the end result is for you to realize that you still have a future, even without that person in your life. Realizing this allows for you to build more hope and more dreams. The best kind of break-up plan allows you to have a box of tissues.