Finding Answers

About four years ago, Rebecca had met someone, Jack. He seemed liked a nice person. Not one of those weird ones that you have to question them right down to their social security numbers. They had met through a mutual acquaintance. Over the next few years, she had limited contact with me because of their current working relationship. However, time showed her feelings that she was unaware of for him. Her feelings had changed. Taking the risk to get to know him better, she found herself being forced away from him. It was completely out of her control. You see, he had just started a relationship with another girl. A high-school type of relationship that becomes over time unhealthy when you’re in your thirties, with the girlfriend feeling insecure, she pushed Jack to stop talking to Rebecca. She couldn’t understand why anyone would push a guy to such drastic levels. Within a few short weeks they had broken up and Rebecca was pushed away from him on Valentine’s Day. Since then, it’s one of her least favorite days every year and she never had a chance to know if it was or wasn’t meant to be.

After many relationships, she found herself every so often still thinking about Jack. Even after all the heartbreak and all the embarrassment that she went through, she managed to move on. But even moving on, she found herself choosing guys that were like him. Many would say she was on a destructive pattern, but in reality her heart hadn’t seemed to mend. One of the issues that I find is that we spend so much time suppressing feelings and trying to get over them. We look for new people. We date and maybe even marry, but in many ways it feels as though we push ourselves to go in different directions so not to feel like we didn’t get over that initial person. When it comes to matters of the heart, it can be tricky. If we ignore our true feelings we can just as easily hurt ourselves than not. Of all the broken hearts, it takes much more than trying to pretend that even someone like Rebecca was okay. For her, it was a matter of falling short of her feelings and succumbing to what everyone else around her expected to do, and that was to just disappear out of Jack’s life altogether.

I realized that it makes little to no sense to push someone away because perhaps the person lacks the maturity to see the good in the other person. Maybe it was even fear that brought Jack to pull the strings that he did so that he wouldn’t have to deal with his own feelings. I’ll never know what made Jack so desperate to push her away, but the only thing that she could think of to understand it all was that he treated her that way because he didn’t know her. Whatever his reason may be, only he knows the answer. Who knows, maybe this how some of the best movies and love songs were made.

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