Compromise with a Capital C

Compromise, it’s one of those words that often define what you are willing to change or willing to put aside for a relationship. The goal is to smooth things over the rough edges that can happen in any relationship. Compromise can also be great when is done in small doses. Giving extra help with errands once in a while can otherwise help a relationship to continue functioning. This compromise does not threaten our core needs, our desires, or wants from a relationship. However, when we start compromising the essential parts of which we are this is when we see the cracks develop. It’s those essential parts that developed the basic foundation of the relationship.

In a healthy relationship, each person is allowed to meet his or her needs together with the other person. Anything lesser demands that both people change in a way that is deep and meaningful so to meet the needs of the other person. This is often backward since the relationship should serve the other person in it. Let’s say a relationship that has excessive compromise involves two important parts: communication and sharing. If these two individuals agree that they are important to the relationship than all works well. However, if both people disagree as to what is equally important, it may be more difficult the relationship to meet both of their needs. This often causes stress and even resentment in a relationship. When one person has to meet the needs of the other person, while leaving their own needs aside, if the need is an essential part of which they are, this where neglect and hurt develops.

In a new relationship, we vow a willingness to give anything and everything up to be with the other person. Unfortunately, we often don’t realize the cost of what you are giving up and the same thing can happen at the end of a relationship when we push the hurt down and promise the world if only that person will give you another chance. Sometimes those incompatibilities and compromises are the capital C in the relationship. It warns us how important compromise can either make or break a relationship. The end result, little compromises are natural and often times unavoidable but be careful not to give up too much of what is important to you for the sake of your relationship that it takes away who you are as a person. It’s what’s meant to be.

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