It seems that no matter what age you are, when it comes to relationships, there is an expectation when it comes to communicating with a new person. You meet and things seem to be okay. A few days go by and you decide to contact them. You haven’t heard from them and doesn’t one of you need to keep in touch if any type of relationship is going to work. What you may find is that you can call, text, or even send an e-mail, but it still takes anywhere from 2 to 3 days or more to receive a response. I often wonder, is playing a game necessary to get to know a person?
Games, what exactly are they and why do so many feel it’s a necessary first step in a relationship. There seems to be this rule that if you don’t play hard to get, then you’re not worth the time and energy. If you are one of those people, let’s face, no one thinks that you are the only one with a busy schedule. The fact is we all live in a busy world and for many who may intentionally make ourselves busy. We fill up our time with errands and work commitments, but unless you are seen as a priority, putting in the energy doesn’t seem as worthwhile. Instead of getting to know a person, you find yourself doing most if not all of the contacting and getting little in return. What I have learned is that playing games doesn’t get you far in a meaningful relationship.
The idea of game playing has become more of a sport. To become more appealing the thinking is absence makes the heart grow fonder. In order to win you have to become a “catch” in order to become a “win.” For whatever reason, divulging too much information about you may disorient the person. Dopamine gives that true love feeling. Some psychologists say that giving up too much information in the beginning drives down the dopamine levels in the brain and they give up. To really work the strategy, end dates and phone calls first and cryptically mention your other plans with little or no elaboration.By keeping to your own life shows that your life doesn’t revolve around him signals that you are still independent.
The battle for competition is real. We can find that the game of relationships is much like the game of monopoly, but in order to pass go and collect $200 dollars, being less available is key. Don’t’ let there be a belief that they have a guaranteed spot on your social calendar. Simply let the person know that you’re very interested in getting together…when you’re not at yoga class or dining with friends.