The pressure to find a relationship before Valentine’s Day, but the truth is that it can be so much better being single. Too many people worry about dateless. It’s not about having a date it’s instead just as good to surround yourself with a group of friends. Valentine’s Day has been symbolic for love. However, there isn’t anything wrong with finding love within you first.

Many years ago, a friend of mine Anne, sent herself flowers on Valentine’s Day. At first I didn’t understand why anyone would do such a thing. When I asked her why she sent herself flowers her response couldn’t be more perfect. She told me that she sent herself flowers because it was the one true relationship that she could count on. The one relationship that she knew would always have love. She found love in herself, so many of us forget that every day we have a relationship with ourselves and become lost in the idea that the only way to find love is to search high and far for a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a day of survival, a day to try your best to get through. I know social media doesn’t help. There will always be people who will post roses and chocolates from their significant other, but the fact is instead of looking at their pictures take one yourself. Take a picture of a box of chocolates and post it as a reminder that the day of love doesn’t begin and end with being in a relationship with that guy or girl. Instead, it’s a day that you find happiness in you. For me, looking out at the city skyline is the best date that a girl can have and I am fortunate enough to be able to look out and see it often.

From childhood I think we have been conditioned as to how to think about Valentine’s Day. Actually, I didn’t know what Valentine’s Day was until elementary school when my teachers handed out lists of my classmates and encouraged us all to be fair and send Valentine’s Day cards to everyone in the class. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who still reserved the best card for my secret crush or a chocolate lollipop, adding hearts in hopes that they got the message.

It quickly became a day of candy and cards, baked goods and sweet notes. Somewhere in the shuffle, however, I think we missed the message that it’s about a feeling, an emotion, and an important one we should direct towards ourselves first. Forget the peer pressure and the ex’s, remembering that they are ex’s for a reason. If you do just one thing to acknowledge this holiday, please affirm your self-love. If you don’t have a significant other, perhaps you can count yourself lucky that you don’t have to please another person, live up to whatever expectation they may have of you on this day or embarrass yourself in some wild show of affection that may not mean to them what it means to you. Instead, if you find yourself overwhelmed by the pink hearts that are in stores, remember to take a moment to breathe, relax, and send yourself some love as being what’s meant to be. It’s the single best guide to Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!