I read somewhere that love is like dark chocolate. Except that it always leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. But despite that bitter taste the next time around you will be tempted for more, such wise thinking to some extent when we think of love and relationships. We’ve all been hurt by someone in our lives. In a way it makes us each stronger. That hurt allows us to think about relationships differently. What we want, how we want to be treated, and sometimes it confirms in us who we really are as people.

I don’t believe that we wake up in the morning with the thought “Gee, I hope I never meet that right person today. I hope I don’t fall in love.” Deep down inside we have that desire to not go through this journey called life alone. But what I’ve learned is that we each have a time and place when we’re ready to be totally in love, but we also give off signals when we’re ready and when we’re not ready. Signals that often times can be unconscious signs that alert those we come in contact with that we need time to be our own best friend. It’s not a bad sign to give off. There’s nothing harder than to get involved in a relationship that you can’t give your complete attention. Often times our hearts are saying yes, but our minds are saying not now.

Let’s face it love has nutritional value. It’s healthy for every part of your life. No matter where you are in life finding a healthy relationship with yourself first is the initial step to finding that relationship when you’re truly ready to find it. Although relationships are never perfect and do require lots of work, compromise, and a willingness to resolve conflict in a positive way. Finding and building a relationship worth keeping may mean starting by re-assessing some of your misconceptions about dating and relationships that can prevent you from finding lasting love. Like that dark chocolate, the bitter taste doesn’t last long before we realize that it’s the overall feeling of how chocolate make us feel that brings us to desire more of it. It’s a lot like love.