As I get older, I realize that I have a lot less friends than when I was younger. One of the reasons is that I’ve become much less tolerant of games that people can play. I’ve learned over the years to find a true value within my friendships. That can often times be even closer than some of my family. I could feel guilty for saying that often times your friends are a lot like your family, but even better. The old saying is true: ‘you can chose your friends, but you can’t chose your family.’ Whoever developed that thinking was someone who understood the value of friendship and may have had even had a few less desirable family members. I can relate to this thinking. But it’s not just about having a few less desirable family members, but also having friendships that are meant to be. Our true friendships.
True friendships are often hard to come by and we find that these are the people that see us through it all. Even the growing pains of life don’t sway these types of people from your life. They are the people who stick by you through it all. It’s easy to find fair-weather friends, but it’s not always so easy to find a constant source of support and encouragement. The people who keep it real in our lives. When looking up examples of true friendship, I found the word Kenzoku. Kenzoku is a Japanese term that means family. It’s suggested to mean a constant bond or a similar commitment to finding relationships of destiny. Even time and distance do nothing to take away this bond. I found it interesting that this desire for true friendships isn’t just in western culture, but in culture in general. There are so many people who are looking for that handful of friendships that even through marriage, divorce, and death; they are always there. So what makes a good friendship?
WHAT MAKES A FRIEND WORTHY OF THE NAME?
- A commitment to your happiness. A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship. It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear,” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear, something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you when you’re wrong.
- Principles before Friendship. A true friend won’t ask you to compromise your principles in the name of your friendship or anything else. Ever.
- Inspires. A true friend inspires you to live up to your best potential (Psychology Today).
Think about your own friendships and who the people are that are sharing the events that are happening in your life. There are many different types of friendships that fit our lives and they may not quite have the Kenozku bond. But when you do find that bond, it’s just like being at home.